Tuesday, November 5, 2013

What a shame

Today is my three month review for my job. Basically where you find how your superiors think you're doing and if you continue on the probationary path that everyone starts on or if you're a solid employee. 
I'm always nervous when things like this come about but after the staff meeting I'm nervous squared because that went in a completely unforeseeable direction. It will be what it will be. I'm going in confident knowing I've only made one mistake, I got 10 med points which most new hires get and from my correspondence with most of the people I've trained with that's a pretty low number. 
My allergies are hitting hardcore and I'd like to trade my head for someone else's. I ask again- are sinuses medically neccisariy?! 
And to add to the mixture and the theme of feeling unbalanced we're moving tomorrow or Thursday. I'm so excited but so nervous at the same time. I've spent all my 27 years in this house. I've been able to walk around in this house in total darkness since I can remember. Both wonderfully blissful moments beyond my wildest dreams have happened and some of the most terrifyingly tragic moments happened too. 
I think I feel better when all my belongings are in the new house and the fresh start begins. 
When I look back at this year it's all been a fresh start and a blessing. I'm over a year out of my cancer diagnosis and treatment, I've started a new rewarding career that has enabled me to make a difference and has given me time to reflect on myself, to do and want better for myself and now the last piece of the puzzle- getting out of Clifton Park and moving into a wonderful bigger new home. 
On the target guy front- I've thrown in the towel. I'm not interested in the chase and I need to stop thinking it's ok for me to beg for someone to want to spend time with me.
So my date for the SIRSY show- my last boss Rose. An unexpected and cherished friend I made at the last daycare I worked out. She gets me. She is fabulous and real and when I'm with her I just have the most wonderful time. Better I should have someone with me I care about who didn't even hesitate to say yes when I asked her than some 23 year old who can't get their shit together. 

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