Here I am out in the unknown again. The actual grey area. If this were the neverending story I'd be in the center of the nothing.
I spend more time here than I do I'm reality.
I feel so displaced. Probably because I am. Sadly I'm getting use to not having a constant job that feels like home.
Ever since I got fried from Brite Beginings years ago I've never allowed myself to get completely comfortable. Each day would feel like my first that way if the shit hit the fan the detachment would be just a hair easier.
I'm not terminated from my job...yet. They said it all depends on what happens in court but I truthfully told them what I did and even if the lawyer gets the charges reduced they will still know what I actually did and probably terminate me anyways.
I'll be devastated but not shocked. I did something wrong and stupid and with that comes a price. But I've become so close to the adult with disabilities I support and made so much progress with him it will all have been for nothing.
In these situations people always tell you to think positive. I think reality. I'm not going to set myself up for disappointment or hope for the next to impossible.
The worst part of this all is the waiting. Waiting to find out if the charges can be reduced that day or if there will be another court date. The waiting to find out what I will be charged with and the waiting to find out if my future at my job is now the past.
Thanksgiving should be a blast. My mother has been supportive but my mother said I should stay away from him because he's furious with me.
I just want to disappear.