My three month review went really well. I was taken by surprise. My manager and manager above her said how much of a good fit I am with the man with disabilities I work with and how much they appreciate me. Those words would have never left my last boss's mouth unless someone had a gun pointed to her head.
It was very rewarding to hear all the good things I'm doing and that they were recognized.
Tomorrow I have to get up early for a retreat. It's not really a retreat. We aren't going somewhere special. I just really don't want to get up. That and I'm almost out of my Xanax and the new controlled substances law combined with my bitchy doctors office makes it next to impossible to get it when I need it. Last time I stopped taking it I had a seizure...during the interview for this very job...talk about full circle.
I wish I could get off of it but after all I've been through with being sick compounded by everything else it's just not a reality. I think I should be heavily sedated but my doctor disagrees. She probably thinks I'm a drug addict. I just don't want to feel most of the time. Or think.
And don't give me that "no one's life is perfect" bullshit. You try walking around trying to put it out of your mind that there is a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off in your body and take everything again.