Saturday, September 28, 2013


Well the finality of the situation is astounding but I'm free. ******** finally admitted *** doesn't care about me and that's all I needed to know to move on. 
My ***** ******* and I are fine or we were and I guess that's all that truly matters. 
Our house is in shambles. The siding had to removed per the purchaser's request and now our house looks like a meth lab and somehow I no longer have cable. Just station upon station of static. I had fully planned on catching up on sisterwives but oh well. 
All hopes of enjoying my day off have been squashed. I did manage to squeeze a nice nap as the people who were removing the siding woke me up at 8am. If you had to be up at 6:30 am on your Saturday and be woken up early on your Saturday when you know you have to go bed early because your shift on your Monday starts at 7am and goes until 10pm. 
Some days I just feel like the walking dead. 

As cheesy as this sounds I couldn't relate more to this song right now

"I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up 
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up 
Get ready cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now"

I was quiet, held my breath, bit tongue, afraid of what would happen, afraid that what happened would happen and they all head me roar and tried to roar back but it did no good. I'm done. I got my answers and no, they aren't the ones I wanted, they hurt me so deeply I can't explain, but I'm free of it. I've made my choices they've made there's and now we all know where everyone stands. 
You can't change people, you can't make them care or make them realize the reason you're hurting is because you care but you can stop caring, it can be beaten out of you, and it will hurt but like all wounds that hurt will heal.

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