Thursday, September 26, 2013


This quote couldn't hit closer to home or be truer for me.
In so many ways I lost it all. 
I lost my ideals, my dreams, things I had that I didn't even know I had or wanted, and the life I knew. 
When I took the career path I'm currently on I'll be honest. It was a last resort. The child care field had blown up in my face again and I was running out of time and money. 
I kept searching for a teaching job to no avail. Had even been offered one and had it taken away. 
I knew of I took this career path I'd be saying good bye to so may things I loved and cherished: theater, my love of children, my mission to change their lives, and so many parts of who I was. 
I had lost it all. 
But I didn't. Yes, theater is on the back burner, but I've never felt so free and like I have an actual path. 
For ten years I devoted my life to caring for and educating other people's children in vain. I wanted to make a difference and couldn't no matter how hard I tried and frantically searched for other things to fill the void. 
And a large part of my life was dedicated to avenging the me I was in high school who was robbed of so many opportunities. 
My life wasn't making any difference. I was tethering myself to so many things trying to feel good, trying to feel free, trying to feel something. And all I was doing was spiraling out of control. 
I made the right choice. I am making a difference every day and it's being noticed. What's more is I'm making a path for my life.
Sometimes it does take losing it all to feel free. And to realize that what you thought you were meant to do wasn't what you were suppose to do at all. 

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