Monday, October 14, 2013

adrenalize me

I couldn't be more thrown off if I tried. I had a normal shift today but tomorrow it's another double feature picture show. 
My body feels like it's trying to escape from me.
I realized just now that today is Monday. It's as if there aren't days anymore just one continuous day that cycles on and on. 
(I think this happened today) I went to rite aide to get a writing pad because the one I've been using to write to the two inmates I keep in contact with was just too small and i had to use more pages. I also bought an energy drink and we'll get that debacle in a moment if I can remember. 
So I get to the check out and I'm use to everyone who works there. The rite aide is up the road from me. So I set all my items on the counter and the manager gives me this weird look and I'm thinking in my head "awesome he probably thinks I shop lifted something and is going to make me spill the contents of my freshly organized bag (when you have no choice but to stay up all for 17 hours even the most mundane tasks seems like a lady gaga concert) but then he pushes his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and starts ringing out my items. I remind myself I have there reward card but not with him so he tells me to punch in my phone number which is actually my mom's he says "so are you going to the concert". I'm still in a haze on the better side of sleep walking and I startle easy as it is so I nearly jump and go "what concert?".  Was there an impromptu concert at the car shop across the street that all the hipsters slapped their scrotum hats and flannel on for or is one of those boy bands at the mall with a swarm of Tweens hormanally awakened?
He says "in this moment". And I was like "yeah I did you know?" He goes "because I can read" (holy breakfast club flash back where bender is going through Brian's "standard" lunch). And then he tells me he noticed the bracelet I wear I got the last time I saw them another time I was there. 
Well a 20 minute conversation erupted, him ignoring all the silver sneaker club members behind me with their denture cream and off brand cheese puffs, and me wondering if I'm making any sense. I walked away only vaguely aware that he compared her to lady gaga and completely unsure if he was coming on to me because I was the one that brought up Maria Brink's huge jugs. 
I get to Mr. H's house having sipped a little bit of the aforementioned energy drink and accidentally engage my religious fanatic coworker in a religious debate (I had to explain to this person more than once that being gay doesn't mean I want to be a woman no matter what the crusaders told them in their homeland and further insist that I am gay and don't want to be a woman...which I guess in retrospect I should've just said "yes I want to be a woman" because then I could've spared myself the highlighted bible verses they twisted (like all good Christians do!) to be about homosexuality and the repeated assurance to not worry. God will save me by me magically waking up and liking women in a sexual manner) and it was ridiculous. Mr. H wanted to watch the walking dead and I blurted out that I thought this was what the rapture would look like. Boy did I dig myself in deep. Although I did shut them up by citing the part of the bible that says part of the rapture will be the dead walking among the living.
Well the energy drink was a horrible mistake. Mr. H didn't want to go anywhere but bed and I had enough energy to lift two cars and feed a gaggle of new borns. So I just started talking to myself like a nut case. 
Moral of the story- when you're running on 3 hours of sleep just don't talk to anyone at all for any reason and don't think an energy drink will do anything in your favor. 

No comments:

Post a Comment