So the saga continues. I continue to talk to this man and it continues to go no where.
" P-p-pussy power, pay me by the hour
I need me a braveheart, can't deal with the coward
I tell 'em they fiend balling, he should hit the showers
If I pick you, you lucky baby this money ours
All yellow gold on me like I'm Trinidad
Sitting drop top wonder where the ceiling's at"
I don't why I don't walk away. I'm so good at what I do I have ex boyfriends still begging for it.
It's not all about the sex but last time I checked I'm still human and it's been a minute since I've had any.
I feel like this man, the 43 year old, is afraid to try, to see where it might go or that he might like it.
I know if I'm in my 40s and still single I'd be on my way to giving up and praying for a miracle at the same time.
But this, this right here is the only reason I've ever felt like I hate being gay.
Monogamy is like the white unicorn and you have the same odds of winning retirement at the age of 18 from a lotto scratch off as you do for finding someone who is relationship oriented.
I can't tell you how many men have asked me out and are HIV positive because they've had sex with anything that walks for half their life and the only reason their sniffing up the tree of someone like me who knows how to keep their legs closed and wants a relationship is because once you have HIV the sex tilt-a-whirl has come to a screeching halt.
I hate to say it but so many stereotypes are true about the gay "community" it isn't even funny. It's embarrassing.
I use the word community very loosely, it's more like an orgy that occasionally dabbles in politics and stops having sex and snorting coke just long enough to make their point.
I don't want that kind of life.